eleflowerpot


On the outside looking in...

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The Beginning - Part 4
eleflowerpot

Part 4

 

Isabelle’s POV

 

We’d returned late the previous night, creeping in the house so as not to wake them. He’d wanted me to stay in his room but I’d refused. It wasn’t right, not when Taylor and Zac were just down the hallway. He’d sulked his way to bed mumbling about double standards, how I’d been happy to share his bed for the last three nights, how Taylor and Zac were probably shacked up in the same room at that very moment. I’d ignored him and gone to my room, it was no use trying to reason with him when he was in that kind of mood. I’d had a troubled nights sleep, flitting from dreams of a passion filled weekend to anxieties about the coming conversations that I knew we all had to have. I was up before the others and decided to make a hearty breakfast of pancakes, bacon and scrambled egg, hoping that the smell would rouse them. Sure enough Zac appeared only minutes after I’d begun to make the pancakes, rubbing his stomach with glee as he entered the room.

“Hungry?” I couldn’t help but smile at the childlike look of expectation on his face. Food had always been the way to please him, well…the way I could please him. He nodded enthusiastically as he grabbed a soda from the fridge.

“You really shouldn’t drink that stuff for breakfast…” He simply shrugged and sat down at the table. It was a constant battle that we went through, me trying to look after him and make sure he ate and drank healthily, him doing exactly as he pleased. I continued cooking in silence, the only sound the sizzling of the pans. It wasn’t long before Taylor appeared nodding his greeting as he grabbed an OJ from the fridge and settled himself next to Zac. Still the silence remained, this was going to be harder than I thought. As I dished up the plates and placed them on the table there was still no sign of Isaac. Reaching the bottom of the stairs I called up to him. Returning to the table I sat and looked down at my plate. There was no way I could face food now, my nerves were too great. I began to pick at a piece of bacon, concentrating on removing the thin vein of fat. In record time Zac had cleared his plate and looked at mine expectantly. Handing it over to him I rose and climbed the stairs seen as there was still no sign of my twin. As I entered his room I found him stood at the window, looking out onto the garden.

“If you don’t come down soon Zac’s gonna eat your breakfast,” was all I uttered before returning downstairs. I was pleased to see that Zac was taking his second plateful of food more slowly, actually tasting it this time round. Before too long Isaac joined us, a scowl upon his face.

“You’re not still in a bad mood are you?” He really did exasperate me sometimes.

“Lovers tiff?” Zac joked with a mouth crammed full of food. Taylor tried to stifle a laugh.

“Don’t talk with your mouth full.” I replied a little too forcefully. Sometimes I felt like I was their mother rather than their sister. Silence descended once more so I busied myself loading the dishwasher and cleaning round. As I collected their empty plates they sat staring at each other, noone saying a word. The icy atmosphere had become more than I could bear. I slammed the dishwasher shut and turned to them, three pairs of eyes shocked and expectant met my gaze.

“This is ridiculous. How are we ever going to sort this all out if you can’t even be civil with one another at breakfast?! I’m going to the store, because as usual, nobody else thought to buy any food. When I get back we’re going to sit down and we’re going to sort this because the way I feel right now I want to head out that door and never come back.” Tears had begun to prick at the corners of my eyes as I let my emotions get the better of me. I left them in a now stunned silence, hopefully ready for whatever showdown was planned when I returned.

 


The beginning - Part 3
eleflowerpot

Part 3

 

Taylor’s POV

 

My mouth opened in horror as I looked from Isaac to Zac. How could he know?! Isabelle gasped in shock, Isaac just smiled slyly.

“You two?! After you’re reaction to us?!” I could understand her disbelief. Yes we’d had an unusual reaction to the disclosure of her relationship with Isaac considering we were doing almost the exact same thing. I shrugged in response not wanting to explain.

“And you knew?!” She’d turned her attention to Isaac now so I relaxed a little, relishing the prospect of him being grilled rather than me.

“All I know is that I saw them holding hands one day in the garden. I never mentioned it cause I wasn’t entirely convinced that I had seen it. I only said it in the hope that they’d drop themselves in it by giving us an explanation…”

Well, we hadn’t offered an explanation but no doubt our body language had betrayed us. The fact that Zac had started to sweat profusely was a definite give away.

“Look, we’re not doing what you’re doing…we’re not sleeping with each other…” I began.

“Can’t say we do much sleeping.” Isaac offered as a whispered counterance. She punched him lightly on the arm, all annoyance at him now gone.

I sighed, and ran a hand through my hair. As I looked up at them I was met by two pairs of expectant eyes awaiting the explanation they felt they deserved.

“We’re close, yeah really close. You two always had one another so it was only natural that we gravitated towards each other.” I thought back to our younger days, how our unconventional upbringing of being seemingly marooned in foreign lands due to our father’s job hadn’t allowed us to socialise with other kids. Had that pushed us closer together? To seek comfort from the one person you felt you could turn to when no one else could understand you? It had only ever been that, friendship and companionship in the beginning, a person to offload to who knew what you were going through. When we all moved in together it had turned into something more. I’d gotten drunk one night after a break-up with a girlfriend. Zac had been there to listen and pick up the pieces. As I was rambling to him about unrequited love it’d hit me, the person who could love me unconditionally was sat across from me, listening to my sob story about a girl I could barely remember the name of. I’d leaned across and kissed him on the lips, taken aback by my own bravado, the addition of alcohol necessary. As I’d pulled away he hadn’t started shouting, there was no disgust or horror, just understanding from those deep, beautiful eyes. We’d explored our mutual feelings for one another since then. Taking things slowly as it was new to both of us. We’d taken it so slowly in fact that we’d never actually gone all the way. It was unspoken but something we both understood. It was as if everything else we indulged in was somehow acceptable but that final act would push us over a predetermined edge. It was as if we didn’t want to accept what we were, what it meant.

“You see, so it’s not the same at all. What you’re doing is disgusting,” came Zac’s bold voice from beside me.

“And what you’re doing is homosexual…at least we’re straight!” Isaac’s reply was venomous.

“Look, let’s not all fall out over this. We’ve all heard some things we need to get our heads round. Let’s have a few days apart so we can get our heads straight and then we’ll all sit down and talk about it.” As ever she was the voice of reason within our family unit. Zac and I nodded our agreement although Isaac still looked furious. She stood and held out her hand to him, beckoning him to follow.

“Come on Ike. Let’s pack a weekend bag and go to the airport, catch a flight to New York, have a few days away.” He didn’t respond, just looked at her sullenly. “You’re always complaining that you never get a break…perfect opportunity to drop everything and disappear for a few days.” She smiled warmly at him and all at once I wished that I had what they had. Yes I loved Zac, but it wasn’t the same…it’d never be the same as being with a girl. He took her hand and followed her out of the room, leaving us alone with our thoughts.

 


A Secret Unleashed - Chapter 9
eleflowerpot

Title: A Secret Unleashed

Author: eleflowerpot

Fandom: Hanson

Pairings: Taylor/ Zac, Isaac/ OFC

Summary: Third instalment of the ‘Secret’ series

Warnings: Some content may be adult


Chapter 9

 

Isaac’s POV

 

Hearing a sob from behind me I turned, suddenly conscious that there were others in the room. I saw Taylor silhouetted against the harsh light from the corridor, with his back to me I could see by the shaking of his shoulders that he was bereft. I rose and made my way towards him, Zac sliding back from his position next to him to allow me room. With a gentle hand placed to his shoulder he turned his tear stained face towards me. His eyes widened as he saw it was me, all colour having drained from his cheeks. He began to start mumbling an apology, garbling about how everything was his fault and he wished he could swap places with her. I stopped him by pulling him into a hug, it was the only way I could think to let him know that it was ok, that I forgave him. Words were lost to me so I hoped my actions said all I wanted. He responded, encircling his arms around me and pulling me in closer. I began to enjoy the comfort of our closeness, something I’d never sought before. I breathed in deeply, inhaling his scent, a mixture of his favourite cologne and sweat. And then it hit me…I finally understood. They were soulmates in the same way as me and Lou. They understood each other in a way that no one else could. I pulled apart and smiled, the first genuine smile in months.

“It’s going to be ok…I know it’s all going to turn out right.”

 

 

1 year later…

 

A lot had changed, more than any of us had ever thought possible. Taylor and Zac were finally happy, living the life they wanted together. They’d been worried that during the divorces they’d lose access to the kids, turns out all Nat and Kate had been out for was money and hadn’t put up a fight when they’d wanted custody seen as the price was right. They lived in a virtual mansion, away from prying eyes. Enough room for all the kids to roam about outside, a bedroom for each of them, games room, swimming pool…they had everything they could ever wish for.

The band had ceased to exist of course. As soon as the media had got wind of the divorces, and paid those two money-grabbers for a ‘tell-all’ story, there was no way we could ever think of continuing. Taylor and Zac were happy though, having the family life they always dreamed of, together at last.

And me? I had my anonymity now, no longer being asked questions every time I ventured out. The pace of life was slower out here, the Buddhist way of life was something that we’d both embraced, and was definitely aiding Lou’s recovery. We lived in a lovely little ramshackle house overlooking a quiet bay. We kept busy, I played small sets at the night markets, just covers, but I was happy with that. Lou had been volunteering with a charity that supported orphans and street children, teaching them English.

And then there was Anjuna… we’d fallen in love with her the moment we’d seen her. All big brown eyes and long lashes. She was 18 months old and the light of our lives. The adoption had been simpler than we’d imagined, there being so many needy children in Goa. We finally had everything we’d ever dreamed of.

 


The Beginning - Part 2
eleflowerpot

Part 2

“We’ve always been close, you know that…in the same way that you two are close.”

They said nothing, only exchanging a look. I needed to make them understand… I turned to face Isaac and his warm smile gave me all the confidence I needed.

“It started years ago, we were fourteen…”

The storm was raging outside. I hated storms, had done since our house got struck by lightening one night a few months previous when I was in on my own. I cowered under the bedcovers anticipating the next crash of thunder. I felt stupid for being so scared…fourteen years old and whimpering like a baby. In the midst of the sound of the rain thrashing against my window I heard my bedroom door open, peeking over the covers I saw Isaac creeping in. He smiled and came to sit on the edge of my bed.

“Thought I’d come and see how you are cause of the storm…” He stroked my hair gently. Although we were the same age, born only minutes apart, he’d always acted as the ‘big brother’, wanting to look after me. He blamed himself for not being there that night the lightening had hit. Our parents, Isaac and our two younger brothers had gone out of state for the weekend so that they could perform at a music festival. I’d only recently gotten myself a Saturday job and hadn’t wanted to ask for the time off.

“I’m pretty scared to be honest.” I didn’t mind admitting that to him, he was the only person I told everything to, best friends, soul mates, the linguistics mattered not.

“Budge up then,” he laughed as he stood to lift up the covers. Sliding in beside me it felt good to be against his warm body. Resting my head on his chest and with his arms circled around me I let out a contented sigh.

“You can sleep now Izzy,” he whispered and kissed my forehead gently, “I’m here to protect you.” I slept soundly for hours, waking only at the moans from Isaac beside me. He was gripping me tightly, one hand cupping my breast, and was rocking his hips. Between the moans and sighs I heard him utter my name. I blushed slightly at the realisation of what dream he must be having, at the same time smiling because it obviously meant that he thought that I was attractive. His guttural cry broke me from my inner thoughts and his grip on me softened as he awoke. He looked over at me, our faces illuminated by the moonlight cascading through the gap in the curtains, and turned a deep shade of red. He made to speak but I placed a finger to his lips…and then I kissed him. I still don’t really know why. To let him know that his dream didn’t matter? To let him know that it did? It started as a short, chaste kiss but as his hand found the back of head it deepened and became passionate. When we broke apart we were both breathless and I noticed a hunger and longing in his eyes. We never spoke our intentions, had always had an understanding for what each other were thinking. He’d risen up on his elbow and placed me on my back, leaning over me he’d begun to kiss seemingly every inch of me oh so sweetly. That night had passed so slowly, every touch lingered over, never hurried. When we eventually woke in the morning, the light gently breaking our slumber, it hadn’t felt awkward at all. It was as if it was always meant to happen, that we’d been destined to be lovers from the start. And since that night we had been. Throughout our teenage years we’d had difficulty being close at home yet when the band had become successful more opportunities had arisen. I’d travelled with them all as they promoted singles, albums and toured the globe. The endless stays in hotels had afforded us plenty of opportunity to explore our passions, no one questioning why we shared a room. As we’d reached our twenties we’d moved out of the family home, again nobody questioning why we would choose to live together. The only fly in the ointment being the fact that both our younger brothers also wanted to move in. They were desperate for independence from our parents and despite Taylor being eighteen and Zac not yet sixteen it had been agreed that we would all live together. It was disappointing to know that the privacy we so desperately craved was yet again thrust out of our grasp. Yet how could we disagree without raising suspicion as to our true intentions. And so it had begun, the creeping around in order to be together. It’d been exciting and fun…until today…until we’d got caught.

“So…now you know…” The silence in the room was palpable, the beating of my heart sounding loudly in my ears. I turned once more to Isaac, to see if I’d angered him by my account. He squeezed my hand whilst encircling his other arm around my waist, pulling me in closer towards him. It felt good to know that we were a team in this, that whatever prejudice and anger was to come our way we would be facing it together.

I studied Taylor and Zac’s expressions closely, there was something amiss but I couldn’t put my finger on it. Just as I was about to question Isaac he spoke.

“I don’t think we’re the only ones who’ve been keeping a secret are we?”


The Beginning - Part 1
eleflowerpot

 

With our passions sated we lay with just the sound of our gradually slowing breathing and still pounding hearts to edge out the silence. Her head lay nestled on my chest and a strand of hair tickled my cheek. As I made to move it away she turned her head to look at me and smiled.

“Sorry, am I tickling you again?” I smiled in response, her hair was that unruly that we had this scenario every time. Leaning to kiss her on the tip of her nose I sighed and stroked her hair.

“We should really get up, they’ll be home soon.” She replaced her head and began trailing circles over my chest, sending shivers down my spine.

“I know… I wish we didn’t though. It’d be nice, just once, to be able to lay here as long as we wanted…whenever we wanted…” She sat upright and sighed.

“But I guess we can’t always have what we want.” She smiled weakly and headed for the shower. I knew what she meant. To be able to take things slowly, to linger over our lovemaking… The sound of the shower brought me back from my daydream, glancing at the bedside clock I figured we had just enough time…

 

She stood under the cascading water with her back to me, thankful that there was no door I slid behind her and placed my hands on her hips. I felt her shock as she stiffened slightly at my touch but then relaxed as I began to kiss the side of her neck. She moaned slightly as my hands went lower, brushing through her pubic hair until I reached her clitoris. She gasped and her hips moved forward, wanting more of my touch. I continued to kiss her neck as I stroked her rhythmically.

“Ike…we haven’t got time for this…you need to stop…” There was no conviction to her words so I continued. As her breathing quickened I moved in front of her to kiss her deeply, she responded instantly, moving her body until it was flush against mine. I moved my hands until they both rested on her butt and walked her back until she was pressed against the shower wall. As she raised her legs to hook around my waist I whispered into her ear,

“You need to come quickly, we haven’t got long till they’ll be back.”

 

 

Closing the door behind us he rushed up the stairs, obviously desperate to pee. I hung my jacket on the hook and followed, wanting to dump my bag in my room. As I reached the top I found him stood rooted to the spot outside the bathroom.

“What’s up?” He turned to face me, a puzzled look on his face.

“Someone’s in the shower.” He whispered. I shrugged nonchalantly, not sure at what he was getting at. He sighed, exasperated,

“Whoever’s in there isn’t alone…listen.” He motioned me closer to the door and I obeyed. As I eased closer I understood his confusion, the sounds emanating were definitely of two people who were not concentrating on having a shower.

“Who do you think it is?” he whispered conspiratively.

“Only one way to find out…” I replied with a wink. As we opened the door a blast of steam hit, making my shirt stick to my skin. Despite the heat the sight I saw chilled me to the bone….the naked form of my eldest brother, wet…and writhing against our sister.

 

 

As a blast of cool air hit me I opened my eyes to find hers wide open in shock, a look of utter horror on her face. She dropped her legs, our passion now forgotten. As I turned my head to the source of her discomfort nothing could have prepared me for what I saw…my two younger brothers, staring at us. We stood like that for what seemed an eternity, them, staring open-mouthed; Isabelle shrinking, trying to hide behind my frame, and me…well, I just returned the stare I was being subjected to. Unable to believe that after all these years of sneaking around we’d been found out. Eventually Zac turned to leave, a hand to Taylor’s arm beckoning him to follow which he mercifully did. As they left the room I turned to face her, tears running silently down her cheeks I pulled her closer towards me and she nestled into the crook of my arm. I reached over to turn the water off and we stood there, beginning to shiver as the droplets of water ran in rivets down our skin.

“We need to go and explain…” She nodded her ascent although I knew she didn’t want to, knew that she wanted me to protect her from whatever their reaction would be. I moved away and grabbed a towel, wrapping it round her I lifted her chin so I could look in her eyes.

“You’re beautiful and I love you. And I don’t care what those two think okay? You’re the only one I care about.” She nodded and raised a weak smile. I kissed her chastely on the lips, grabbed a towel, wrapped in round my waist and headed for the lit room at the end of the hall.    

 

There was no sound as I lightly pushed open the door. Zac sat on the edge of his bed, bewilderment on his face. Taylor sat next to him, obviously shocked to his core. I made my way to the arm chair in the corner of the room and sat down. Their eyes followed me but they said nothing. We sat that way for what seemed like an eternity, staring at each other. I faltered first, feeling the pressure of two pairs of accusatory eyes boring into my very soul. The silence was broken by her hurried entrance into the room. She’d dressed hastily, her long wet hair dripping down her back. She made her way over to me and placed herself on my lap, kissing my cheek softly she smiled then turned to our younger brothers.

“So…I guess you want an explanation.” The guffaw that emitted from Zac’s mouth made me jump,

“You think?!”

Nothing you can say is going to explain why you were having sex, you’re brother and sister for god’s sake, twins!” Taylor’s voice pitched higher towards the end of his sentence, the disgust on his face evident. I hoped she had a plan because I was at a loss.


Update!
eleflowerpot
Just a quick note about what's going on at the moment...

The next post is 'The Beginning'  - this is a prequel to 'The Chair' i.e it's going to show how the incestuous situation was discovered/ started out. I'll post part 1 today.

I wanted to do a Christmas themed ficlet but realistically it's not going to get done as I'm working all over the holiday season.

Haven't started the next chapter of 'A Secret Unleashed' yet but I'll definitely make it a priority!

Anyway, hope you all have a happy festive season x

A Secret Unleashed - Chapter 8
eleflowerpot

Title: A Secret Unleashed

Author: eleflowerpot

Fandom: Hanson

Pairings: Taylor/ Zac, Isaac/ OFC

Summary: Third instalment of the ‘Secret’ series

Warnings: Some content may be adult


Chapter 8

 

Taylor’s POV

 

Furious…fucking furious. To think she’d dragged me here for cradle cap…cradle cap! Of all the over-reactions… She’d done it on purpose I was sure, done it out of some jealousy at me spending time at the studio. Time that I had to spend in order to earn money to keep her in the luxury that she demanded! I could feel my blood beginning to boil, a heat rising within me, my anger bubbling over to an extent where I was sure I would blurt everything out. Every sordid detail would come cascading out if I didn’t reign in my anger. I let out the breath I’d been holding and looked down at the sleeping form of my daughter in my arms. I had to focus, had to let it all wash over me. Running my finger down her chubby cheek I smiled to myself. At least there was one person I hadn’t disappointed, I hadn’t managed to mess her life up yet like I had seemingly everyone else’s. Lost in my thoughts I failed to see that she’d returned until a shadow blocked out the light. Looking up I saw her stood there, arms crossed and a face like thunder. Feeling exasperated I smiled weakly. How could she still be mad at me when I’d done what she’d wanted? I’d rushed here as soon as I could, been here for support….although what she actually needed me here for I didn’t know. She didn’t let me speak, taking control of everything as per usual. She opened her arms, indicating she wanted her back, I complied, not wanting an argument.

“Manage to get the shampoo?” I asked nervously. If only the worlds media could see me now, reduced to a quivering mess by the idea of maddening my wife any further.

“Do you think I’d be back if I hadn’t?!” The tone was sharp, she was affronted by the fact I’d even dared to ask such a thing. As if it was disrespectful to even think that she’d not be successful in a task. She turned to leave, not making any attempt to wait for me. Trudging behind her I pulled my phone from my pocket, hoping to lift my spirits by having a message from Zac. What met my eyes instead was a myriad of missed calls from him and various messages. As I began to read I felt the colour drain from my face, his words were disjointed, urgent, mis-spelt as always. Reading message after message the reality of what Natalie’s actions had caused sunk in. Lou’s life was hanging in the balance and all because she’d been an unsuspecting pawn in Natalie’s game of getting back at me. I felt the glare before seeing it, eyes boring into me for not following her. Raising my eyes to meet hers I suddenly felt a defiance I hadn’t before, a desire to tell her exactly what I thought of her, to tell her how I had a more loving relationship with my younger brother than I could ever dream of having with her. In that moment I made a decision that I should have made years before.

“Why’ve you stopped?!” the tone was sharp, the kind that usually sent a shiver to my core.

“Lou’s in ICU, she’s been hit by a car. I’m going up there to see her.”

“Well who’s looking after the kids?” she wasn’t concerned about the kids, I could tell by the way she spoke. She was angered that all her pawns weren’t in their rightful positions doing her bidding.

“Kate’s with them.” And with that I turned on my heel and retreated down the corridor in search of an elevator. I could hear her furious cries from behind me yet I continued on my way. An air of serenity had come over me, I may not have actually told her I was leaving her but the act of actually walking away had told her all she needed to know. The desperation in her voice was evident, she knew this final act of selfishness had pushed me over the edge. If only she knew how many steps I’d already taken over that imaginary cliff face. As I entered the elevator and watched the doors close in front of me I couldn’t help but think of that fateful night, the night when I’d lost all control and hurt the only woman I’d ever loved. I’d never forgive myself, had contemplated suicide, yet I knew that even that wouldn’t ease the pain that I’d caused her. She’d simply blame herself, her unconditional love for others an extraordinary trait. And Isaac…what untold horrors had I caused him to experience at my expense? Had I ruined their relationship beyond repair? Zac’s messages had said she was pregnant, that it was mine, that they’d separated because of it. I was the cause of all their heartache and it saddened me deeply. They were the perfect couple, I’d always been envious of their relationship but I’d never meant to cause all this…

As I left the elevator and searched for a sign to lead me to my brothers I couldn’t help the sense of dread that was forming in the pit of my stomach. He probably wouldn’t want me anywhere near, but he had to know, he needed to know that this time, this time this wasn’t down to me, it was all her fault…    

 

As I approached the ICU I saw Zac turning a corner and heading away from me. I picked up my pace, quickening to a jog in order to catch up with him. He heard my steps, stopped and turned. His face lifting into a genuine smile, as if it was a relief to see me. As I stopped in front of him he pulled me into a hug,

“God, I’m so glad you’re here.” He pulled away and visibly relaxed.

“Ike’s just gone in to see her, come on.” We set off for the private room at the far end of the ward. As we entered the dimly lit room Isaac didn’t stir, oblivious to our presence he sat on the lone plastic chair stroking his fingers across the knuckles of her left hand, seemingly the only part of her free from plaster, bandage or wires. I could see tears rolling down his cheeks. He cleared his throat and began to speak. I made to move forward, to alert him to our existence in the room. Zac put his hand lightly on my arm and shook his head, indicating we should allow Isaac to continue.

“Lou…I don’t know where to begin…how to tell you how sorry I am. Everything I said…I’ll never forgive myself for all the cruel, hurtful things I said. I’m so ashamed of myself. I hurt you…the person I love more than anyone, the one person who’s always been there for me.” He paused briefly, running a hand through his hair and wiping away his tears. My heart broke for him. To see him so lost, so utterly hopeless, I couldn’t even begin to imagine how he felt. I looked from him to Zac and then I did…if anything happened to him I would die. Not physically, no, but every fibre of my being that mattered would cease to exist.

“Jeez, look at me, I’m a complete mess. I haven’t been the same since you left, I can’t eat, can’t sleep, can’t write….I need you to be able to be me. Without you I’m nothing, you can’t leave me Lou, I can’t live without you…” Seeing him so emotional hit me hard. I turned away silently, conscious that my own tears were now starting to cascade.   


A Secret Unleashed - Chapter 7
eleflowerpot

Title: A Secret Unleashed

Author: eleflowerpot

Fandom: Hanson

Pairings: Taylor/ Zac, Isaac/ OFC

Summary: Third instalment of the ‘Secret’ series

Warnings: Some content may be adult




Chapter 7

 

Isaac’s POV

 

As we attempted to pass the time in the small waiting room I couldn’t help but think the worse. What would I do without her? The past couple of months had been agony, going through the motions of living when I felt like I was dying inside. We completed eachother, always had…always would…? The idea of not having her in my life, never seeing that shy smile that she saved for me, the way her cheeks flushed constantly, how she could never seem to get the parting in her hair straight… As I wanted to smile at my thoughts the tears began to flow, a seemingly unending cascade ready to continue the breach. I felt a hand on my shoulder, Zac not knowing what else to do, not used to a show of emotion from me.

“She’ll be ok Ike, she’s so strong…such a fighter…” He trailed off, not believing the conviction of his words. A light knock on the door interrupted us, a stout, middle-aged doctor entering the enclosed space. He remained standing as he closed the door behind him, a look of understanding and authority apparent in his stance.

“Mr Hanson?” I nodded in response, wiping the trails of tears from my face with my shirt sleeve.

“Your wife has suffered a mass of internal injuries due to the impact from the vehicle. It hit her head-on so she took the full force as she was crushed against the other car. We’re keeping her in an induced coma, that’ll allow us to better treat the rest of her injuries. She’s just finishing in theatre. The next twenty-four hours are crucial. Currently she has a fifty per cent chance of survival. With every hour her odds will improve.”

I felt unable to speak. How could he be so cold…so clinical? He took a step closer and began once more.

“I’m sorry to be so blunt Mr Hanson but you need to know the reality of the situation. She’s suffered a great deal of blood loss and has swelling on her brain, on top of that the miscarriage…it doesn’t look good.”

My God. The baby…the reason we’d been in this damned situation to begin with…gone. My tears flowed once more, this time Zac circling his arm around my shoulders and pulling me into his chest. I heard him speak as I grasped at his checked shirt.

“Thankyou…Can we see her?”

“I’ll get a nurse to come and get you as soon as she’s back from theatre. It shouldn’t be long, they’re just finishing.” I heard footsteps and the door. Zac pulled me in tighter and began to rub my back, circling his palm in a soothing rhythm. My tears began to cease and I pulled away, embarrassed by my show of emotion. An awkward silence was beginning to develop between us, Zac also conscious of somehow overstepping an unseen line. He cleared his throat before beginning to speak,

“Um…you never said she was pregnant…” He glanced towards me, a sympathetic look in his eyes.

“No…” I sighed deeply, knowing that I had to tell him. Wanting to get the issues of the past months out in the open.

 “It wasn’t mine.”  His mouth dropped open, obviously shocked to his core.

“B..But…?” Confusion evident on his face I only needed to say one word for the recognition to register.

Taylor.” He nodded slowly, sadly, hanging his head as if in shame, as if it was somehow his fault? I continued to explain, the torrent of words flooding out.

“She told me when we came back from Oz…she wanted to keep it. I didn’t… obviously. We’ve been living apart for a while now…and up until today I thought I was right, right for telling her that I couldn’t be with her if she kept it. But I’ve been so down, I’ve not been sleeping, eating…I’ve been so lost without her. It wasn’t till today that I really thought about it, decided that I needed to try and get her back, to apologise…”

His face said it all, the confusion, the disappointment in himself for not realising something was wrong.

“I’m sorry…” he began, but I cut him off.

“I realised I was punishing her for my inadequacy, that she’d finally gotten the chance of the one thing I could never give her… She’d always accepted my thoughts about not wanting to adopt or use a donor, and I thought that was cause she agreed with me. But I know now it was because she wanted to make me happy…the desire to be a mom had never left her.” I stopped momentarily, hearing myself voicing my internalisations.

“You never said….” He looked upset? Certainly not angry… disappointed… disappointed that I’d not trusted him with the knowledge. I shrugged before responding, unable to explain.

“I felt like such a failure… still do. There’re seven of us for goodness sake, Tay’s got five, you two…. If it’s one thing Hanson’s are known for it’s being able to reproduce!” I sounded exasperated, hysterical almost. Needing to regain some sort of composure I took a deep breath, closed my eyes and rested my head against the cold, sterile wall of the waiting room. He said nothing. The silence stretched between us, the enveloping dark I sought through my closed eyes an unachievable aim due to the harshness of the strip lighting. The sound of the creaking door broke the silence, as I opened my eyes I was greeted by the reassuring smile of a Hispanic woman who was surely nearing retirement age. The creases around her eyes had a warmth, they showed years of hard work, of caring. She glided into the room, a thing she must have done a thousand times before.

“Your wife’s out of theatre, you can see her now if you like.” I made to rise as she continued to speak, her soft, gentle voice washing the reality of her words over me.

“She’s a mass of bandages and plaster, on a ventilator, heart monitor and drip…it might be a shock…” I cared not, my only desire to see her…to hold her…to ask her for forgiveness…   


A Secret Unleashed - Chapter 6
eleflowerpot

Title: A Secret Unleashed

Author: eleflowerpot

Fandom: Hanson

Pairings: Taylor/ Zac, Isaac/ OFC

Summary: Third instalment of the ‘Secret’ series

Warnings: Some content may be adult

Chapter 6

 

Zac’s POV

 

We journeyed in silence, a fact I was glad of. The look on his face as he entered the truck telling me all I needed to know…it was bad... Keeping my eyes on the road I drove more cautiously than I would have ordinarily, usually loving the speed and power of machines. Isaac didn’t comment, I thought he might have told me to hurry up but he was lost in his own thoughts. I was glad of his call, it was an excuse to escape from the madness of Taylor’s house where I’d left Kate in charge of six children. I did feel slightly sorry for her, I wouldn’t wish Taylor’s kids on anyone, not even my own worst enemy. I had to hold my breath as I tried to stifle my laughter, imagining Kate being run riot by them all. I didn’t succeed and let out a large guffaw, managing to spray spittle on the inside of the windshield. Isaac’s head snapped round as I wiped the excess moisture from my mouth. His eyes locked on mine, a mixture of fear and sorrow within them.

“Sorry,” I started, returning my eyes to the road, “I was just imagining the fun Kate’ll be having with all six kids.” I heard him start to chuckle and stole a glance at him. He’d rested his head back and had closed his eyes.

“Yeah…I can see how her predicament would cause you to burst into fits of laughter.” We both began to snigger then, a sound that filled the car and lifted the mood. As our giggles died away Isaac ran a hand through his hair, almost saying to himself, “I need to ring mom and let her know what’s happening.” His call took the remainder of the journey, he hung up as I parked in front of the hospital. He hesitated as he reached for the door handle, looking round at me there was a pleading look in his eyes, a vulnerability present that I’d never seen in him before.

“Zac…Do you mind coming with me?” It was a request I had no intention of shirking away from, glad that I would be able to provide some kind of solace to my older brother.

“Course not. C’mon, let’s go find her.” I ended with as hopeful a smile as I could muster. Conscious that we had no idea in what condition we’d find her. From what I gathered from his phone conversation she’d been hit by a car and all the cops had said is that she was alive. It didn’t even bear thinking about.

 

We made our way into the emergency department. Isaac seemed to be letting me take the lead, all his concentrations on holding himself together although his composure was already beginning to waver. As we reached the desk a fraught nurse eyed us warily, anticipating yet more work being required of her.

“We’re looking for someone that was brought in from an accident, Louisa Hanson?” I smiled hopefully, yet received only a sigh from her in return. Pushing a clipboard and forms towards me she began to speak,

“You need to fill these in first. I’ll try to locate her best I can but it might take a while.” She returned her gaze to her computer screen, effectively dismissing us. I guided Isaac to some chairs so we could begin with the form. He sat dazed, his eyes never leaving the nurse, as if by staring at her he could quicken her search. Minutes passed and I filled in the form as best I could. Passing it to Isaac, he finally acknowledged me.

“You need to fill in the rest. There’s stuff I don’t know.” He took the paperwork and began to fill in the blanks. As he finished he handed it back over, wanting me to take charge once more. I stood and returned to the desk, waiting for the nurse to finish her call I glanced down at the form. It seemed so impersonal to represent someone’s existence in such a way, a collection of reference numbers and other associated data. The nurse coughed to indicate that she was ready. I handed her the form and waited for her to input it into her computer.

“Right,” she finally began, “So you’re her next of kin then?” She looked up expectantly at me.

“No, he is,” I motioned behind me, “She’s my sister-in-law.” She nodded her understanding.

“You need to go to the second floor to ICU. Find the ward sister on duty and she’ll be able to tell you more.” And with that she returned her attention to her screen. I made my way back to Isaac, his expectant look greeting me.

“She’s in ICU.” He nodded, rose and followed me in the direction of the elevator. The smell was something I’d always hated about hospitals, that and the light. The harshness seemed to accentuate the sharp lines and lack of colour. As we arrived on the second floor the beep of machines could be heard, directing us towards our destination. It was with a heavy heart that I approached the central nurses station. She couldn’t be in a good way if she was here. It was a thought that brought tears to my eyes, she’d been part of my life for as long as I could remember, always there for me, always caring and understanding…

And now we were here, waiting to hear her fate.      

 


A Secret Unleashed - Chapter 5
eleflowerpot

Chapter 5

 

Isaac’s POV

 

The darkness was all enveloping now. Many of the street lights were out and the headlights of my car were hardly cutting through the density of the gloom. Whole streets were at the mercy of the shadows, the power having being knocked out. I should have been driving more cautiously given the circumstances but as every minute passed by my anxiety grew, the nagging thought that something terrible had happened to her…

 

I pulled up at a set of lights, impatiently waiting for them turn. I thrummed my fingers against the wheel, the time seeming to take forever. I inched forwards slowly, squinting into the night in all directions for any signs of traffic. Confident that there was nothing coming I pushed my foot on the accelerator and shot across the crossroads, I reached the other side without meeting another vehicle yet my heart was pounding erratically nonetheless. The further I travelled the more anxious I became, my knuckles were white against the steering wheel, my eyes darting all over the roads and sidewalks, looking for any sign of her. I saw the lights first as I rounded the corner, swerving to the edge of the road in order to avoid a collision I noticed too late that I was heading straight for a parked car. Pumping the brake pedal as hard as I could I shut my eyes on impact, screwing them tightly shut, as if this act would somehow protect me. I jolted forward a few inches before the seatbelt stopped my progress. As my head bashed back onto the headrest I opened my eyes and let out the breath I’d been holding. Undoing the belt and opening the door I looked skywards and offered a silent prayer of gratitude. As I edged away from the car a police officer ran towards me,

“Are you ok sir? Are you hurt?”

“No, no. I’m fine thanks, just shaken.” He nodded in response then ran back to the centre of the road where I could see now there’d been a huge collision. A fire truck, two ambulances as well as the police car were all in attendance. It looked bad, four cars by the looks of things and a massive tree. I sat myself down on the edge of the sidewalk to ring my mom. I’d tell her what had happened and see if she could get Zac to head in the opposite direction from Taylor’s to look for Louisa. As I began to fish my phone from my pocket I glanced back at my car and the one I’d crashed into, something about it seemed familiar. I stood and walked back towards it, the closer I got the more I was convinced…it was hers… As I read the licence plate my greatest fears were realised, spinning on the spot I ran towards the cluster of wrecked cars, desperately trying to understand where she might be, what might have happened. The officer from before stepped towards me to halt my progress.

“Sir, you can’t come any closer, there’s an investigation being undertaken into the accident. We can’t risk there being any tampering.”

“But you don’t understand, my wife, that’s her car,” I pointed wildly in the direction of our crashed cars. A flicker of understanding showed on his face.

“Can you give me a description of her? What was she wearing today?” My mind went blank. I’d only seen her very briefly earlier, I racked my brains trying to think.

“She’s about 5 foot 3 with long brown hair. She’d got on some black boots and leggings and like a long jumper dress type thing, it was different shades of purple I think,” I paused, adding in only a whisper “Cause that’s her favourite colour...” He nodded and looked over to his colleague who was deep in conversation with a fire fighter.

“One moment sir.” He headed over to the other officers. I saw them glance round to look at me and then recommence their conversation, gesticulating with their hands in the direction of the centre of the collision. The man returned with a sullen look that did nothing to allay my fears.

“It appears that your wife came across the accident that had already taken place, parked over there and came to check if there was anything she could do for the people involved.” He paused and coughed slightly, my eyes were wide, the sound of my heart pounding in my ears, the only sound I could hear. “As she was phoning the emergency services to come and attend a vehicle came round the corner too quickly and wasn’t able to stop in time.” Oh Jesus. No. He couldn’t be telling me this. He must have seen the imploring look in my eyes because he continued quickly. “She’s been taken to hospital, she’s in a bad way but she’s alive.” He offered a small smile then turned to walk away. I started walking away from the carnage in the direction of Taylor’s house, phoning Zac as I quickened my pace. He answered after the third ring.

“Hey Ike. Found Lou?”

“You need to get in the car and drive to West Street, I’ll meet you at the store. You need to drive me to the hospital.” I didn’t wait for an answer, ending the call and picking up my pace. As I ran quicker than I’d done since being a teenager on the soccer pitch I thought of all the things I should have told her. Even before all the shit of the past few months I wondered if she knew how much I loved her, how much I depended on her, how my life meant nothing without her…

I’d been so stupid. Stupid to throw away what we had all because she’d gotten the chance to have something she’d always dreamed of, something I couldn’t give her. Did it really matter how it’d come about?

I arrived at the store out of breath with my heart beating with more ferocity than ever. I stood, doubled over, hands on my knees trying to catch my breath. God I was unfit. I made a mental note to start doing some sort of exercise rather than spending my spare time drinking. A horn sounded and I looked up, Zac’s truck pulling up beside me. I walked towards it, the shooting pain of stitch in my side. As I climbed in he looked intently at me, as if wanting to speak. He thought better of it and set off. I was glad. The thought of explaining knotted my stomach. I’d have to ring mom to let her know but I needed to see Lou first, I needed to run my hands through her hair, kiss her lips and tell her how sorry I was for everything, sorry for being me.

 


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